Tuesday, 1 November 2016

Shoot to kill, Jim

On Wednesday John treated us to a sci-fi game using some Star Trek figures he bought and painted only this year.
The brave lads (and lasses) of The Federation were to investigate an object which was upsetting the equilibrium of an M-class planet.  I started at something of a disadvantage as I thought that an M-class was a Mercedes SUV...

Anyway, back to the plot.  Boldly going where no same man had gone before were the crew of the USS Illustrious, starring
Martin as Jim the Captain.
Tim as the serious bloke with the pointy ears.
Tom as 'third man on planet'.  Sorry Tom.
Plus some non-Equity members who were mostly there to catch alien bullets and diseases.
Our other objective was to secure a TV series...

We had been told that the planet may have been occupied by some nasty space goblins so clearly a wary approach was required.  Sadly Federation directives prevented us from just nuking the planet so Captain Jim decided to land a party of six crew members to investigate.
After beaming down we didn't have long to wait before the baddies appeared.
 These were horrible mis-shapen alien beings.  And Jerry and Graham's figures were pretty ugly too.

Back on the bridge calm reigned - I expect they were smoking some of those dilithium crystals again.
On the planet Captain Jim's plan was rapidly unravelling.  Turns out that conducting what was effectively a heliborne assault onto a 'hot' LZ wasn't such a great idea.
The green horrors were present in some profusion!  But we had a plan.  The crew beamed down a grenade from the Transporter Room...
...ah well, we got one of them.
Captain Jim then ordered another party to beam down.  Another fine mess ensued.
"we're under fire Jim, we canna tak much more..."
Shorn of the three man security detachment (the guys in red never last long), Spock, Jim and Nurse Chapel fled into the woods.  Jim got it in the back en route.  So I left him.
By now the ghastly green goblins had done for most of the rescue party.  Only Doctor Bones survived.  "it's worse than that, he's overacting Jim."
The goblins had a rather a tight grip on the objective...
..so I lobbed the last two grenades at it then flew off as the credits rolled.

So a not entirely successful pilot episode and no series contract.
But stay tuned for "Spock and the Space Goblins".  I think it's the future of TV.


Don M said...

I think I saw that episode....it's ok it was just a dream sequence in an alternate time line....So you can do it over with a strait face.....)

Jon Yuengling said...

This sounds like fun. Where did you get the figures?

Tim Gow said...

Don M
Didn't Spock always have a straight face? Too much botox I expect.

Tim Gow said...

Jon Y
John bought them (apparently at ruinous expense) at a show last year. They are multi-part figures - I'll ask if he has the make's details.

Ken H said...

Thanks again for the witty tale that kept me chuckling. It always goes badly unless Uluru lands with them, and the security detachment was essentially just alien heroin, the aliens just had to have them! Great stuff, presumably the next episode,, filmed on the starships control centre, will be named "a bridge too far!" I'll stop now, but you get the award for the wittiest/most interesting wargames blog post of the week!

Tim Gow said...

John A writes:
The Space Goblins are from Macrocosm http://www.macrocosm.co.uk/product-category/macrocosm/the-grem-alliance/page/2/

The star ship crew is CP Models Star Ship Crew http://www.cpmodelsminiatures.co.uk/CP%20MODELS%20STAR%20SHIP%20CREW.htm
(Their postage and packing charge is the same wherever you live = horrendous in the UK. Anyone who wants a set or two who is are going to a show where Annie the Dice Bag Lady has a stand can pre-order them from her well in advance and save serious money!).

Archduke Piccolo said...

"That's a nasty hole you have in your back, Jim"
"How... How long have I got, Bones?"
"Three days..."
"I want it fixed in eight hours."

RPGs can be a heck of a lot of fun. But you gotta play 'in character' to get the most out of them...

"Scanners are reading several lifeforms in approaching, Captain."
"Hostile, do think Mr Spock?"
"Uncertain, Captain. However, the Gobliny Green Guys are known for their hostility to what they call Extraterrestrials"
"H'mmm..... Can't ... takeanychances. Setphasersto ... 'vaporize'. Enterprise ..."
"Yes, Captain?"
"Prepare support away team and ... have them stand by."
"Aye, aye, Captain."
"There are rather many of these aliens, Captain. Scanners indicate they are armed."
"... and no doubt dangerous.... Too many, Mr Spock?"
"Possibly. The probability of our survival if we remain here is one hundred and seventy-four point eight to one against."
"So what you are saying, Mr Spock, for all your unemotional logic, is that we're doomed."
"I would not go so far as to say that, Doctor..."

Chris Kemp said...

The thought of teleporting a grenade with the pin removed makes me shiver! Galaxy Quest has it covered on that one I think :-)

Regards, Chris.

Chris Kemp said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Conrad Kinch said...

We come in peace. Shoot to kill. Shoot to kill.

Martin Rapier said...

On reflection there are any number of things we could have done differently, I later had the bright idea of beaming up the Goblin commander into the brig. We didn't even conduct the most elementary precautions like scanning the area, but instead mounted a Starship Troopers style space assault - with half a dozen people armed with hand lasers and wearing nylon shirts.

Oh well, perhaps Ensign Kirk will return in the nexy pilot to give wise Captain Spock some advice. We did at least manage to get all the red shirts killed.

Michael Peterson said...

"Captain, my tricorder says this planet is only inhabited by beautiful women!"
"Very well. Set your phases on Caress."

Geordie an Exiled FoG said...

Liked the Directors Cut ;)
Was there no beautiful alien to snog Jim?

Tim Gow said...

Archduke Piccolo
You have it exactly!

Tim Gow said...

Chris Kemp
And to think the Space Goblins were meant to be the stupid ones!

Tim Gow said...

Conrad Kinch
Sadly the other lot were shooting to kill too...

Tim Gow said...

Martin Rapier
I think it may be a while before Latrine Orderly Kirk makes it back to the bridge...

Tim Gow said...

Michael Peterson
I don't think our tricorders were working well that day.

Tim Gow said...

What do you think Spock got up to in the woods with Nurse Chapel?