President Fred's Funeral - part 4 - grave news

By now the hearse was entering the churchyard - the latter lined by numerous armed representatives of the various factions.  What could go wrong?  At around this time, Captain D'eath had been making a nuisance of himself by successfully arguing that several parties from LADA deserted.  Tempers within LADA were not improved when their drive to identify Freddist loyalists in the crowd came to nought.  Indeed several mourners later reported being accosted by suspicious gentlemen with heavy Spanish accents asking about their political leanings....

The streets of downtown Ph'tang City were rather crowded!

A late moment of tension occurred when this LADA BTR-152 crashed through the wall of the churchyard.  But still there was no gunfire....
This turn's arguments were as follows:
While Captain D'eath was being interviewed on live TV by Roger Mellie, LADA argued that the interview went badly resulting in a further argument from D'eath where he shot Mellie in the head on live TV!  Oh, the drama!  Meanwhile, Comrade W escorted Mrs F into church - could this be a new power partnership?
The final analysis (it's too scientific to explain) revealed Mrs F to be the overall winner, having achieved all of her objectives.  So no doubt we've not seen the last of her.  And who will take over from Roger Mellie?  Could it be Ph'tang's answer to Jerry Springer - Captain D'eath?
In conclusion - a great game, made so by four imaginative players and their hats.

The none too grief stricken mourners.  From left - Captain D, Mrs F, Comrade W, Colonel Incognito.

President Fred's Funeral - part 3 - enter the hippo (again)

Back to Darkest Africa now.  Above can be seen the funeral cortege underway, accompanied by armed retainers from several factions.

The only ones to bring an AFV to the fiuneral were (of course!) L.A.D.A, whose BTR-152 can be seen bringing up the rear.

Meanwhile by means a matrix argument and clever use of a cue card, Roger Mellie was being mobbed by locals (or are they leftist revolutionaries?) desperate to be on TV.

The cue card in question.  Oh and there's that hippo again...

Not to be outdone, Captain D'eath had some of his men in attendance.

Some?  Well quite a few actually - many hiding in buildings!

The hippo was attracted by the noise of motor vehicles (you may remember it's fondness for such things from before).  Firing soon began - started by the UN(!), with Capt. D'eath soon joining in.  They all missed though and the unfortunate beastie was finished off by the P.O.O.F.S.  And all on live TV....

By now mourners were gathering from all around and the cortege had swollen to epic proportions!  So now that the sound of gunfire has at last been heard, what next?

Part the last coming soon...

President Fred's Funeral - part 2 - a pain in the hearse*

The table set up and ready for ....who knew what?

The four players (all of whom should have know better) were John (Capt. D'eath), Kayte (Mrs Fred), Jerry (Comrade Wrist) and Martin (Col. Incognito).

The funeral cortege trundles along at a respectful pace.

The local emergency services were on standby.

Roger Mellie (for it is he) prepares for a live broadcast at the entrance to the churchyard.  Martin provided the hills and 'old colonial' buildings.  All the other rubbish is mine.

Tension builds as the cortege reaches a corner.  Note the bunch of P.O.O.F.S near the school bus...

Another TV camera crew films the solemn event.  The rather splendid Cadillac hearse is a Hot Wheels model.  The four main mourners were in the dignified Daimler DS420 limo.  Many years ago I used to drive similar (but rather scruffier) Daimlers for a wedding hire firm.

Action at last!  The P.O.O.F.S crewed bus rams the lead UN truck and brings the cortege to a halt.

The shaken P.O.O.F.S tumble out of the bus.  What would happen next?  As Roger Mellie commented in a news bulletin - "Two turns and no gunfire - this is probably the longest period of peace in Ph'tang's recent history."

Stay tuned for the next load of old nonsense....

*saying this is much funnier if you can manage a Dundee accent.

President Fred's Funeral - part 1 - Setting the scene

This game, played on 9 April at Sheffield Wargames Society followed on from our last outing to Darkest Africa.  See the earlier post for an outline of the game mechanisms.  Here are the player briefings.  Next time we'll see the action unfolding.  Or just unravelling......
To recap on what happened last time: 

President Fred was - dead!  After over a decade of surviving various assassination attempts and battlefield fire the great Fred - blessed be his name - was gone.
Captain D'eath made it to the Capital and featured in some very positive news footage.  He hasn't become the new president.  Yet....
The P.O.O.F.S. - Managed to find a few bits of new kit and are well placed to take power (with L.A.D.A. support).
Col. Incognito - Was militarily successful and expects to be able to manipulate the future government of Ph'tang.
Roger Mellie - Got some great footage on prime time TV and took full advantage of Capt. D'eath's well stocked drinks cabinet.
Hertz Van Rental - successfully evacuated the wounded from the airport - but didn't feature in any TV coverage.

Personal briefing – Mrs Fred

You are the widow of the late President Fred (blessed be his name), the democratically elected and benign ruler of the small African state of Ph’tang, his party P.O.N.G. (the Ph’tangi Organisation for National Glorification) having swept to victory at the last election.  And the one before that.  

Under your direct command is your devoted (and well remunerated) bodyguard, The Purple Helmets.

Objectives:

1. Ensure Fred has an honourable and dignified send off.
2. Position yourself as his successor.
3. Use the advantages that nature has conferred to advance your cause.

Personal briefing – Captain D’eath

            You were until recently are the loyal and trusted sidekick to President Fred of Ph’tang.  In the aftermath of Fred’s death you featured in some very positive TV news coverage, having saved the life (or so you say) of ace reporter, the rather tipsy Roger Mellie.

Objectives:

1. Develop your media career.
2. Emerge as a lifelong supporter of whichever faction looks most likely to control Ph’tang.
3. Quietly commit an atrocity, preferable one involving an endangered species of wildlife.

Personal briefing – The Limp Wrist

            You are the shadowy and mysterious leader of a popular (well not that popular) uprising against the evil dictatorship of President Fred. Your organisation, The Peoples Organisation For Socialism (P.O.O.F.S.) is covertly backed by the Cuban sponsored Leftist Army of Darkest Africa (L.A.D.A.) which has invaded Ph’tang in support of your cause.

Objectives:

1. Position yourself as Fred’s successor.
2. Include a load of Marxist claptrap in every argument.
3. Retain the support of L.A.D.A.

Personal briefing – Colonel Incognito

            You are the Cuban ‘adviser’ to and thus de facto commander of L.A.D.A. (the Leftist Army of Darkest Africa). Having assembled your forces in nearby Zoone, you have invaded Ph’tang and put the country to the fire and sword in the interests of peace and stability.  You have orders ‘from the highest level’ that the P.O.O.F.S. must not gain power in Ph’tang.

Objectives:

1. Keep the peace during the funeral.
2. Give the P.O.O.F.S. plenty of verbal support but no material help at all.
3. Eliminate any remaining Fredist support.
4. Include a load of Marxist claptrap in every argument.

We also had two 'non player' roles:

Personal briefing – Roger Mellie (the man on the telly…)

            You are a hard-drinking veteran journalist and were in Ph’tang a few months ago to cover the election (and the subsequent unrest).  You have recenty flown back to cover the expected invasion of the country by the Cuban-backed Leftist Army of Darkest Africa.  Then you got a bit pissed.  In the aftermath of President Fred’s death you were ‘rescued’ by Captain D’eath and said a load of nice stuff about him on TV.  But you really can’t remember what happened…

Objectives:

1. Secure an exclusive interview with Mrs Fred, the late President’s grieving widow.
2. Present a dramatic 30-60 second report each turn.
3. Avoid Captain D’eath.
4. Emerge alive (and preferably drunk) with your reputation enhanced.

Personal briefing – Captain Hertz Van Rental

            You are a young officer of the Royal Dutch Marines currently on UN peacekeeping duty in Ph’tang.   

Objectives:

1. Keep the peace during the late President’s funeral.
2. Avoid becoming involved in any factional fighting in Ph’tang.
3. Ensure you feature prominently and positively in any TV coverage.

The end of President Fred? part 3 - D'eath stalks the land

Turn 4 - Captain D'eath arrived on the scene (his vehicles are the light green pair, centre)...

...and promptly shot the hippo!  He also tried to shoot the member of Fred's entourage who was trying to revive the hippo but failed spectacularly.

Turn 5 - While the P.O.O.F.S occupied the town, L.A.D.A advanced, blowing up the lead Saladin.

Turn 6 - More L.A.D.A fire (an argument had given them a +1 on firing for this turn) saw off the second Saladin.  Meanwhile a L.A.D.A vehicle (UAZ-469 jeep) dashed forward and ran over a landmine.

At this point and for no good reason I moved the train forward a bit.

An overview of the carnage at half time.

Turn 7 - Fred was reinforced by infantry and this technical (an old VW Transporter with an MG mounted on an elevating platform).   'Helped' by another of Capt. D'eath's arguments, this promptly opened up and shot the buffalo.

One of the P.O.O.F.S's technicals - a Roco VW Transporter with Peter Pig crew.

At the airport Capt. D'eath's assassination team - disguised as P.O.O.F.S (in pink spandex) tried and failed to kill Roger Mellie.  They were swiftly mown down by real P.O.O.F.S.  Confused?  Me too.

Turn 9 - Captain D'eath drives to the airport to 'rescue' Roger Mellie from the midst of a gunfight.  RM was successfully enticed to board the Sultana which then roared off towards the Capital.

Fred's infantry (The Purple Helmets - for it is they!) had by now reached a small hill near the jungle.

The UN column reached the airport just after D'eath had driven off.

Turn 10 - Fred argued that his AT weapons had added range due to the direction of the prevailing winds in spring.  March - you see?

This killed off the L.A.D.A. PT-76 but soon the T-55s both shot at (and hit) Fred's Saracen - blowing it to (very small) bits.

Endgame.
President Fred was - dead!  After over a decade of surviving various assassination attempts and battlefield fire the great Fred - blessed be his name - was gone.
Captain D'eath made it to the Capital and featured in some very positive news footage.  He hasn't become the new president.  Yet....
The P.O.O.F.S. - Managed to find a few bits of new kit and are well placed to take power (with L.A.D.A. support).
Col. Incognito - Was militarily successful and expects to be able to manipulate the future government of Ph'tang.
Roger Mellie - Got some great footage on prime time TV and took full advantage of Capt. D'eath's well stocked drinks cabinet.
Hertz Van Rental - successfully evacuated the wounded from the airport - but didn't feature in any TV coverage.

We may have seen the last of Fred - but we will return to Ph'tang!

The end of President Fred? part 2 - enter the hippo....

An overview of the field of battle.  All toys and terrain from my own collection - except for Martin's splendid home-made hills.

The 'airport' - the plush terminal building can be seen behind the fuel tanker.  The Mitsubishi van in the foreground belongs to the TV crew.

To add to the fun and offer more opportunity for atrocities I brought along a train, a village and a school bus!

Turn 1 - the P.O.O.F.S. successfully argued that the time they had spent training would allow a +1 on their firing.  They soon set off for the airport with the intention of their victorious uprising being filmed and transmitted in the west.  Sadly it was knocked off the BBC news schedule by an amusing story about a gerbil in Doncaster...

Fred's armoured column was soon on the move.

Mr Mellie and his cameraman at the airport.

Turn 2 - A successful argument (from Captain D'eath) specified that the amorous but short sighted hippo would get er, friendly with the lead armoured car.  Here can be seen the hippo, the Saladin being f****d and the dice which led to the success of the argument.  As can be imagined, this had the effect of halting Fred's movements for a while!

The P.O.O.F.S. were accompanied by a couple of 'technicals'.  This one, an old Matchbox Morris is equipped with two MGs and crew by Peter Pig.

Spurned by the Saladin, the hippo moved on to the President's personal Saracen.  Whatever next?

The end of President Fred? - part 1

This game, played on 6 November at Sheffield Wargames Society followed on from our last outing to Darkest Africa.  See the earlier post for an outline of the game mechanisms.  Here are the player briefings.  Next time we'll see the action unfolding.  Or just unravelling......

Personal briefing – President Fred - played by Kayte

You are the democratically elected and benign ruler of the small African state of Ph’tang, your party P.O.N.G. (the Ph’tangi Organisation for National Glorification) having swept to victory at the last election.  And the one before that.  Under your direct command is your devoted (and well remunerated) bodyguard, The Purple Helmets.

You also have at your service a loyal unit of the Ph’tangi Army, namely F.R.O.L.I.C.  – formerly under the command of your loyal but sinister subordinate Captain D’eath who, after his televised massacre of civillians and elephants is now in hiding..

 Objectives:

1. Survive and cling to power.
2. Repel the attack on Ph’tang and inflict a defeat on the Leftist Army of Darkest Africa (LADA)
3. Display the exaggerated mannerisms of a comedy dictator.

Fred's armoured column advances

Personal briefing – Captain D’eath - played by Mark

You were until recently are the loyal and trusted sidekick to President Fred of Ph’tang.  Your career took a turn for the worse when you were filmed killing civillians and (more shockingly) elephants!

 Objectives:

1. Carry out a dramatic act of service to Fred which will get you back in to his inner circle.
2. Take revenge agains any western journalists – especially TV crews – for the damage done to your career.
3. Kill any wiildlife in the area. 

Capt. D'eath's 'Sultana' APC

Personal briefing – The Limp Wrist - played by Martin

You are the shadowy and mysterious leader of a popular (well not that popular) uprising against the evil dictatorship of President Fred. Your organisation, The Peoples Organisation For Socialism (P.O.O.F.S.) is covertly backed by the Cuban sponsored Leftist Army of Darkest Africa (L.A.D.A.) which has invaded Ph’tang in support of your cause..

 Objectives:

1. Become the internationally recognised leader of the Ph’tangi people.
2. Acquire more military hardware – the more the better!
3. Include a load of Marxist claptrap in every argument.
4. Act in a rather camp manner.

   

   A bunch of P.O.O.F.S.

Personal briefing – Captain Hertz Van Rental - non player

You are a young officer of the Royal Dutch Marines currently on UN peacekeeping duty on the border between Ph’tang and Z’tumto.  President Fred of Ph’tang has given his permission for UN casualties to be flown out from the local airport.  On the face of it this is a generous offer, but as he is known to be a ruthless dictator his motives must be open to doubt. It is likely that Ph’tang will soon descend into unrest if not full civil war.

Objectives:

1. Get the casualties safely to the airport and thence away by helicopter.
2. Avoid becoming involved in any factional fighting in Ph’tang.
3. Ensure you feature prominently and positively in any TV coverage.

   

   The UN column

Personal briefing – Colonel Incognito - played by John

You are the Cuban ‘adviser’ to and thus de facto commander of L.A.D.A. (the Leftist Army of Darkest Africa). Having assembled your forces in nearby Zoone, you are invading Ph’tang and putting the country to the fire and sword in the interests of peace and stability. You have instructed the local revolutionaries to take action, and it is better that they sustain the casualties, rather than losing your expensively trained regulars…

 Objectives:

1. Depose the fascist President Fred.
2. Exercise control over the leader of the Ph’tangi rebels.
3. Achieve a major military victory.
4. Include a load of Marxist claptrap in every argument.

   

   L.A.D.A. on the move.

Personal briefing – Roger Mellie - non player

 You are a hard-drinking veteran journalist and were in Ph’tang a few months ago to cover the election (and the subsequent unrest).  You have recenty flown back to cover the expected invasion of the country by the Cuban-backed Leftist Army of Darkest Africa.

 Objectives:

1. Secure footage of actual combat.
2. Present a dramatic 30-60 second report each turn.
3. Emerge alive (and preferably drunk) with your reputation enhanced.

President Fred clings on - part 2

 More news from Ph'tang now.  Having set the scene in my earlier post I now present an overview of the action.  The game was driven by allowing the players to make Matrix Arguments - again refer to the earlier post for details.  Basically these allow a player to affect the course of the game via an 'argument' consisting of the following components:
ACTION
OUTCOME
3 REASONS WHY THIS SHOULD SUCCEED
For example:  My troops have received a new consignment of automatic rifles and thus get a +1 on all firing.  This is because (i) They have captured the army barracks, (ii) They are motivated by patriotic fervour and (iii) Secure supply lines provide ample supplies of ammunition.
The argument is then rated by the umpire and success or failure determined by a dice roll.  The more ambitious or outlandish the argument the slimmer it's chances of success.  Early arguments included Colonel Incognito's "It is the rainy season and the centre of town is flooded, preventing movement of wheeled vehicles."  Less likely was Captain De'ath's claim that L.A.D.A. was to be attached by a helicopter.  I told Captain D he would need to roll a '12'on 2D6.  And if successful, make his own helicopter.  The result can be seen below...

 Not only that, but L.A.D.A. lost a T55 during the attack!  Soon a UN aid convoy showed up (the result of another argument).  The abandoned fuel tanker was soon stolen by the P.O.O.F.S. - and after witnessing this dubious behaviour most of the UN drove past without distributing aid.

The tanker is an old Corgi diecast, the ambulance a crappy plastic toy, the Unimogs by Peter Pig and the LAV is a Trident plastic kit.

The Leftist Army of Darkest Africa was strangely inactive, Dave preferring to let the local revolutionaries do the fighting.  And dying.  The bridgelayer was the result of another successful argument but was never used!

T55, BTR 152 and UAZ469s by Peter Pig, MAN bridgelayer by Roco.

 Other nonsense included angry elephants charging the P.O.O.F.S. positions.  They were mown down in a hail of AK fire.  This outrage was caught on camera by a film crew and soon brought to the attention of the UN.  The film crew had also witnessed a meeting between President Fred and the local UN commander, Leutnant Hertz van Rental of the Royal Dutch Marines.

 Meanwhile in town, an old Sherman tank which had been abandoned during 'high spirited protests' caused by the election was re-crewed and started up by rebels.  When they (eventually) got it going it then took off towards the rebel camp and soon got a lucky hit on one of the President's armoured cars!  He wasn't happy.  Captain De'ath was soon on TV again - this time shooting crowds of refugees getting aid from the UN.  Or a gang of rebels.  Depends who you believe.

The game ended with Fred still in power - but tainted by his association with Captain De'ath's televised atrocities.  The P.O.O.F.S had failed in their attempt to get international recognition and L.A.D.A had stirred things up while minimising their own losses.

President Fred and his chums will return for another adventure in a few weeks.